March 22, 2010

Usually when I wake up in the morning at about seven, I get up and pump about twelve ounces which I then store in the freezer. Then I get Will up, change his diaper, and feed him. From then on I nurse him about every two hours in between his three daily naps. I've been fortunate to produce enough milk that I share it with my sister-in-law to supplement what she produces for her little girl.

However, yesterday, things did not go as normal - as a result I had a major panic attack. When I got up, I started to pump, but the right breast didn't seem to be producing much milk. Becuase I am a person of a somewhat excitable nature, instead of thinking through the problem and searching for an explanation, I panicked and cried, sure that I was losing my milk supply. It was strange, though - I had thought that when you lose your milk supply that it happened in both breasts, not just one. Last night I lay awake for a long time, thinking about my concerns, and finally I said a long prayer, asking Heavenly Father to help me find the problem, correct it, and so be able to continue to feed my baby boy. After that prayer, I realized that I had to test some possibilities. To make a long story short, after trying many potential problem areas, I found that a small piece of plastic which helps to control the suction of one of the pumps had been ripped and so was not controlling the air flow adequately. Fortunately, my pump comes with a few extras, and so I was able to replace it very quickly and easily. When I got up this morning, I was easily able to pump my full twelve ounces, feed Will, and store extra milk for my little niece with no issues.

Maybe this is not a big deal, but the whole experience helped me to realize just how important to me nursing Will had become. When I thought I might not be able to take care of his nutritional needs any more, I was so irrationally upset. Over the past few months, I've really enjoyed being able to feed him - it's been a true bonding experience, watching his smiles and hearing his eager gulps. I couldn't and still can't imagine losing that ability. I so appreciate the incredible gift my body is - I'm continually impressed by its superior construction and adaptability.