At the risk of permanently offending good friends who read my blog and are devoted to the Twlilight series, I have to offer up my informed opinion of the most recent installment. Let me offer a disclaimer - if you're a fan, please stop reading. I fully intend to castigate the movie, and I really don't want to hurt your feelings.
For the rest of you, Spencer and I watched Eclipse this past weekend with great amusement. The process for me involved four stages of engagement.
First, a willingness to be entertained. Honestly, I was prepared and ready to like the movie - I had read the books and been mildly interested in the story and so was kinda looking forward to seeing just how much better the third movie was than its disappointing predecessors. So, with bated breath, cozy pajamas, and a darkened family room, we began the movie.
Second came a concentrated effort to enjoy the movie. I almost wrote "film," but I just couldn't attach such an intellectual-sounding synonym to such a silly movie. Anyway, the expectation and hope of liking the movie had passed, and I was trying desperately to buy into the characters and story.
Next, disillusionment. I accepted the movie for what it really and truly is - an embarrassing attempt to create a supernatural yet "that could totally be me!!!" love story for the sadly taste-starved rising generation. It's really bad, people. Honestly - the books alone were annoying, and the story adaptation and acting made me "YAWN!!!" And as I watched, these are some of the conclusions I drew:
Taylor Lautner - mostly awkward and difficult to take seriously. Even the oh-so-subtle bare chest couldn't save the painful delivery of lines and uncomfortable kisses.
Kristen Stewart - is she on too much Prozac or what? She always acts like she's too individul and too obscure to be understood and have healthy relationships with other people.
Robert Pattinson - I actually don't think he's that bad. I guess I just hate his character. Emotional self-torture gets obnoxious by book three.
The guy who plays Jasper - I'm always entertained by the disappearing and reappearing Southern accent. Who knows when it'll rear its twangy head again?!!
The guy who plays Charlie - I like Charlie. He seems more real than anyone else in the series. Lonely bachelor obsessed by his job, quietly mourning his failed marriage, and uncomfortable with his teenage daughter - that character is based in reality.
The lady who played Victoria - not scary at all and a serious step down from the previous actress.
Moving on to Stage Four - BOREDOM! Really, for the last hour of the movie, I sat, waiting for it to end. Sigh, scratch my leg, twist my hair around my finger, sigh some more, look at the shadow on the wall - is that a spider?!! - oh, nope, just a shadow, sigh, sigh, sigh, ooh, did I forget to put the washed stuff in the dryer? - whatever, when will this be OVER so I can go read in bed?
Anyway, the best scene in the movie was the one in which Charlie broaches the topic of premarital intimacy with his way-too-progressive daughter and she asks him about the value of marriage. Again, it was the only one based in reality.
To conclude - I'll quote Spencer: "well, it really was better than New Moon - it had two good scenes instead of zero."
5 comments:
Yeah, I was a twilight fan at the beginning and like you wanted to give the movies a try. I read the first 3 books and started the 4th, I just couldnt take the whole story anymore and I agree with your diagnosis. My Vampire Diaries on CW are so much better. You nailed EVERY horrible thing each actor/actress did that was annoying. I just liked to turn the volume off and freeze the screen when Jacob would take his shirt off!!! That way there was no sound and no acting!!! lol
I haven't seen it yet, but my expectations aren't very high. I've recently come to the conclusion that I dislike celebrity authors. There is little to no value to what Stephanie Meyers has written, and a hundred years from now it won't be remembered in any literature class. She really doesn't even have a single original element to her novels. It was all ripped off of Buffy or Vampire Diaries.
Sadly I have to agree! It was certainly better than new moon, but still boring and cheesy, especially compared to Vampire Diaries on CW. I am obsessed with VD and my husband totally makes fun of me, but I don't care, it is my fun little guilty pleasure:) lol
I laughed when I read your post! Not because I agree or disagree....I need fluffy clean entertainment---my work has too much crap in it that I can't stand entertainment that is tooo serious..., and I love the Twilight series....but I know not everyone is the same, and that is totally fine!!! You wrote it as if your opinions and feelings would change the way others feel about you! :) Of course, that is sooooo not true--at least not from me anyway! Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Ok, just found your blog. I'm not into twilight. Haven't read any of the books or seen any of the movies but I did want to ask you about cloth diapers. Do you still use them and do you love them?
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